Need some extra cash? You're not alone. We all need money to eat, live, and have fun. Most of us find that we just can't rake in enough to satisfy our ideal lifestyles. I for one won't stand for it. You deserve to live exactly how you want to. It's your right to chase after your dreams, no matter how ridiculously expensive they may be. With this in mind, I've put together a few tips to help you grab some green.
The most reliable method is robbing a bank. They have loads of money, and it just sits there. What a waste! Make sure you bring a gun, a mask, and a bag. You'll need the bag to stash the obnoxious amount of $100's you'll be carrying with you. The gun will be needed to persuade the workers to hand over the money. Once it's in your hands, you'll see why they'd be reluctant to give it away without a bit of fear motivating them. Finally, the mask will serve to protect your identity. Apparently, society looks down on you taking things that you deserve. Don't let that stop you. It's only illegal, if you get caught!
You also have the option of selling drugs. Not everyone is smart enough to read my blog and find ways to accomplish the things they were born to do. Because of this, they lead very sad and depressing lives. Drugs help them to cope with the upsetting circumstances they face everyday. Since their lives are so horrible, they're willing to pay obscene amounts to get high. You can benefit by being the person that provides the drug of choice. Just remember to sell it at a much higher price than you pay. You're also doing a good dead by helping these people to happy, for a short period of time. (Bonus Tip: Make extra money by ripping them off. You can cut the drugs, tell them they're getting more than they are, or sell them fake drugs.)
Prostitution is also a good choice. Some people have a hard time finding someone that's willing to have sex with them. After long periods of deprivation, they become willing to pay you hundreds of dollars an hour to let them have their way with you. Exploit their sad sexual cravings for your personal monetary goal. Once again, you can truly feel good about yourself, when you're done. Knowing you've brought some sick sense of gratification to various sad individuals around your town can really make you feel satisfied. Just make sure, if your client is male, that he doesn't wear a condom. Not wearing a condom makes him more likely to reach his climax quickly, allowing you less bang for his buck.
Now that I've set the path before you, you're free. Go out and get the insane amounts of money that you know the world owes you. Once you have that, happiness is at your finger tips. Remember what Daniel Tosh said, some people say money doesn't by happiness, but "it buys a wave runner. Have you ever seen a sad person on a wave runner?"
